In our country, it is day 103 of Lock Down due to Covid-19. Since day one, I experienced many things…
I was challenged with the unknown Corona Virus and the implications of this pandemic. I typically respond as one respond at the beginning of trauma and loss. I was initially motivated by creating security for myself and the people around me. I also had to learn to channel fear into appropriate action and not fall into an endless victim mentality. It was difficult; because my support systems were also limited.
I also had to learn how Doubt and Uncertainty had impacted me and try to deal with it.
By gathering and using accurate information amid the clutter of opinions and “conspiracy” theories, I have tried to get my head above the murky water and believed that I was going to survive and to be fine again. I also had to learn that people may disagree with me about the impact of Covid-19 and how they experience it and that it’s OK.
Later on, the terrible consequences of the dangers and limitations of Covid-19 really hit me and I felt terribly uncomfortable. I feel completely overwhelmed by the “problem” and deficits that arise, people’s fears about the economy, the lack of income, the long period it will take to develop a “vaccine” and a whole lot of stuff that I graciously began to forget. We blame each other, people blame the WHO, the US and China blame each other, we play politics and people use the pandemic to gain political advantage. I try to survive amid this mess of chaos.
I learn to move past depression and anxiety and not to be impatient because of people’s inability. I tried to take small but decisive steps toward survival and recovery during the chaos.
I also realize that we should not throw in the towel, pack the bull by the horns, and try to stay away from thoughts like uselessness. I learned as well that I have to talk about my emotions but sometimes wonder with whom I will speak because we are all in our cabins. Later we start midst many bumps, lawsuits, and differences, and, and….to move out of Lock Down and try to cope with the devastating financial impact of Covid-19. New fears were emerging and people were starving. “Ordinary” people stand together and we hand out food parcels and beautiful stories of caring come to light. The politicians in our country, but also in the world, deal with challenges just as politicians handle them and focus on differences instead of having the courage to take on the difficult challenges and show leadership in this regard. And I fight with our spiritual ministers through the path of spiritual struggles in an attempt to come to meaningful perspectives on the meaning of life.
When we talked to one of our friends, she said very frustratedly, that: “Someone shouldn’t tell her that we have to be grateful for all this mess” and I realized how difficult it is to manage our challenges. I listen to one of the many videos that so many new “life teachers” use nowadays to teach us. The video is about the process believers went through during the 1918 Virus pandemic. It explains how they finally got together, put their hands out, and asked: “How can I help?” And I come to realize that we are just people who are suffering and sometimes just want to be quiet for a moment …. and talk …. and experience …. And I am so grateful that I am just an ordinary and normal person who feels… and experience… and sometimes suffer. And I don’t want to apologize for having feelings because it is real … and I am experiencing it …..
The professionals teach us to manage our emotions in a wise and useful manner and thank you for them, though today I just simply and with dedication want to say: I am completely and utterly fed up….
And I, your fellow traveler on your life path, not only reach out my hand to you but also my ear ….. I am ready to listen to you…..…
Contact me if you want to chat …..
083 409 3712 or willie@future-u.co.za